Posts Tagged ‘america’

Rabies alert! But how do you tell if a bat is bat-shit crazy?

April 27, 2012

Rabid bats are plaguing California! Well actually, one rabid bat was discovered after it died, and someone bothered to figure out why it snuffed it, NPR recently reported. But of course it’s news, because well, it’s awesome news, offering great punning opportunities, and in the past, people have died after being bitten.

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This bat is clearly crazy.

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This bat is completely normal.

This is America, so a few searches turned up some cool signs, advising people not to fondle bats, no matter how adorable they were.

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... no matter how sweet and vulnerable they seem.

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I'll bet you er... $5 (cause that's what I can afford right now) that somebody is going to sue due to the confusion over whether the sign related to baseball bats or bats that fly around.

The question I have, though, is this: How do you tell if a bat is crazy? Do they fly all over the place with their eyes closed? No, they do that already. Or, do they start bumping into walls suddenly? Swooping down to steal fat people’s hamburgers?

Maybe you know for sure if you find a bat in your kitchen, making itself a cup of coffee or reading the newspaper.

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If your cat starts acting crazy, eating out, or trying to fly, you know it's bye bye kitty. Time to send it to the funny farm. At least, that's what you'll tell the kids.

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Hello again, Halloween

October 20, 2011

It’s another of those “It’s been a year” moments. Feels like a minute. Feels like decades. America’s definitely gotten under my skin.

For some reason, the sight of so many American flags was the scariest thing about being here at first. Which is weird, because the World Cup Soccer patriotism I'd come from made me so happy. Ah, hypocrisy. Always comforting in times of trouble.

With Halloween coming round again, I feel sentimental, remembering how weirded out I was by the decoration. Cycling home at night was like riding through a childhood nightmare of sorts. Now, it just all makes me smile.

Last year’s costume: Brocolli – with picture.

This year’s costume?

Purchased at a Mexican-American yard sale. Do I look the part? I thought my expression was pretty scary right there.