Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

Life changing proposals

September 11, 2013

I’m having one of these days – feels like every day is like that at the moment. And it is wonderful. Things are happening so fast with One More Day. I feel blessed and energized. What have I done with Jean? Am I on drugs? Who knows, and no.

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Attn: ALL LIFE CHANGING PROPOSALS DUE TODAY!!! Aren’t they always? Written by some joker on the Dodge College production office whiteboard.

Ready for kids?

August 27, 2013

I love this billboard, as someone who realized that since men were more scared of babies than aids, condoms were my best bet,

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“Off-color”, as in humor: Where does the term come from?

May 30, 2013

Can anyone tell me the origin of the term “off-color”? Not the wikipedia history (I read it) but why the term was coined that way? Does it refer to “blue” as in “blue movie”? In India, apparently, the same kind of humor is called “non-veg” humor… a lot of the population is vegetarian there so meaty is not to all tastes. In Philadelphia they say “green jokes”… as in feeling a little green? And in Australia “‘A bit crook’, means “… a little ill/sick or a little ‘off colour’.” Source: The Free Dictionary Word of the Day discussion. Link also includes an off-colour joke.

All in all, it seems to refer to jokes that are slightly sickening and make the face turn a different color. However, the fun thing about origins is that nobody ever agrees. Seems that the first recorded use of it refers to diamonds. Those that were not pure white were “off colour” and less valuable, according to the online etymology dictionary.

I like to think of my own humor as “unpasturized”. It is generally better for you than the lifeless boiled-to-death variety, but occasionally it may contain diseases that eat away at your face.

I feel there’s a big difference between “off color”, even physically revolting,¬† humor, and humor that is just hurtful, stupid hate speech.

I have never understood people who write "wash me" on other people's car windows. Why do they care? But this is much worse. "SWAG". "Homo". "I <3 Farts"... even if this is just a few straight friends teasing another straight friend, it's stupid, homophobic and purile.

I have never understood people who write “wash me” on other people’s car windows. Why do they care? But this is much worse. “SWAG” (secretly we are gay). “Homo”. “I heart farts”… whoever did this thinks there’s something wrong / embarrassing about being gay, even if they are just teasing a straight friend, or kicking it in the dorm parking lot with some drunk buddies at night.

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“Nobody cares about your stupid stick figure family” and “My zombie ate your honor student”. Yes, this I like. I would be proud if my kid did well at school. But only an annoyingly proud mother puts a “My child was student of the month at blah blah blah” sticker on their people mover. It’s sorta nausiatingly sweet and I enjoy seeing someone making fun of it.

See, the person in the SUV above is clearly a mother… there’s even a child seat in the back. The difference is self-consciousness, or context. For example, a Jewish person making fun of their family’s oddities is funny. A Christian talking about the same family as a reason why “they” are “different” is another. Satire mimics the target to expose their hypocrisy. Mockery is bullying.

… and that’s 90 minutes I should have spent writing a script I spent blogging instead. Gone!

Cum recycling in Hong Kong

March 31, 2013

I know this is juvenile of me but it’s Saturday and I’m home alone working.

As the friend who posted it said: "What exactly is being recycled?"

LITTER CUM RECYCLABLES: As the friend who posted it said: “What exactly is being recycled?”

Never knew a city with a shortage of that. I wonder if people in Hong Kong are better at putting their shit into the right bins.

Birthday Girl – the movie

March 1, 2013

We made a movie. Another short movie. A whole bunch of people exist who didn’t exist before. It makes me feel like a god. A small flawed god, but a god.

Birthday Girl is an ensemble cast comedy about how every person has an inner brat just waiting to come out, for our own reasons. And that’s why I haven’t blogged in a while. I’ve been OBSESSED. And at last it’s a wrap.

It was amazing. I had so much fun making this film that I almost don't care how it turns out. I remember someone else saying that and now I get it.

It was amazing. I had so much fun making this film that I almost don’t care how it turns out. I remember someone else saying that and now I get it. Except of course, I will work that post production until I nearly die and my Editor and Sound Designer wish I would.

Despite a crazy schedule, five kids on set one day, lots of learning on legalities and cake flying around, it was a great set, thanks in no small part to Carol, our host, who was also the best caterer ever. So hiring her again! Also my amazing A.D. Alyxandra Press, who kept her cool despite the set turning into a virtual swimming pool in summer, and Max, my tempestuous and passionate D.P. The Amazing Amy Shirly did us proud on the production design and set dressing front. I was so happy to have Dan Risk (from Indio, CA) as Gaffer, Nate Lertpreechapakdee (from Formaldehyde) as Key Grip and Jules Paholio (from my future) as 1st AC. I love cines. Special mention also to assistant producer Mady Muy, who did an amazing job as UPM and kept the set a happy place, and to Danni Zhao, who produced.

It’s over to my editor Paul Danforth and Sound Designer and recorder Sherry Xie now.

Signs of South Africa

January 11, 2013

South Africans aren’t rude. We’re just overly familiar and brutally honest.

It has been an insane year in SA. And WTF is now in the actual dictionary (the Oxford is always a few years behind - they'll catch up one day soon)

Newspaper posters on the lamp posts: It has been an insane year in SA. And WTF is now in the dictionary (the Oxford is always a few years behind – they’ll catch up one day.)


We tend not to respect celebrity for its own sake. We tend not to respect authority for its own sake, either. After all, Apartheid used to be law. Nowadays, driving over the yellow line is illegal. Anyone here never done it?

The upside: Cars don't have to sit behind you on a single lane highway for 3kms. Downside? It's illegal? Upside? Nobody cares.

The upside: Cars don’t have to sit behind you on a single lane highway for 3kms. Downside? It’s illegal? Upside? Nobody cares. Downside? Over 1200 road deaths this holiday. Upside: Fast traveling and fun times.

Cape Town is famous for the fact that you can come here and… be completely ignored no matter how famous you are, except maybe if you leave the city or want to fuck girls from Camps Bay who wanna be famous too. Colin Farrell spent lots of time here cause he could walk around without his sunglasses on (not that he did, his eye would hurt, cause Cape Town parties hard and drugs are fresh off the boat). But mostly he was here cause Capetonians think they’re special. They’re like, “Oh, you’re Colin Farrel? Really? Well fine, but I’m from Cape Town.”

Celebrity Rehab? Come here and get sober. We don’t care how who you are, or how wasted you are.

I think these signs from all over South Africa exemplify this point. We’re special. We get to say it like it is. Take…

OLD AGE

So I took a tour of an old age home, looking for a friend of my Mom's who she hadn't contacted in a while. She was freaked out - being about 24 years closer to death than I am. But this sign in the complex made her laugh.

So I took a tour of an old age home, looking for a friend of my Mom’s who she hadn’t contacted in a while. She was freaked out – being about 24 years closer to death / urinating on herself, than I am. But this sign in the complex made her laugh.

And laugh again.

And laugh again.

And this is what you get - I think this is a lovely way for an old age community to remember you. I think it's okay to laugh in the face of death. Perhaps it's even essential.

And this is what you get – I think this is a lovely way for an old age community to remember you. I think it’s okay to laugh in the face of death. Perhaps it’s even often fucking essential.

DEATH

We dare it. We double dare it. We’re not like Americans; scared to venture from our car to our apartment if the “air” isn’t already on on a hot day. Sweating never killed you… except when it did.

Okay, it's unlikely that today's cell phones could cause a gas tank to explode... but it's still annoying to the petrol attendants when you use yours. Same reason why they pretend it's dangerous on airplanes BTW.

Okay, it’s unlikely that today’s cell phones could cause a gas tank to explode… but it’s still annoying to the petrol attendants when you use yours. Same reason why they pretend it’s dangerous on airplanes BTW. “If you use your cell phone now, nobody may ever talk to you again.”

Now actually, lighting a cigarette at a gas station is actually genuinely stupid. If you do it while you're on your cell phone you will also be sneered at while you die.

Now actually, lighting a cigarette at a gas station is actually genuinely stupid. If you do it while you’re on your cell phone you will also be sneered at while you die.

WE DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE

Aaaaand back to that.

Real reason for this sign: Grapes close to the road get covered in dust and are hard to make wine with. Other reason: People who live on farms feel free to drive really fast and ignore speed limits and this farm is surrounded by other farmers.

Real reason for this sign: Grapes close to the road get covered in dust and are hard to make wine with. Other reason: People who live on farms feel free to drive really fast and ignore speed limits and this farm is surrounded by other farmers.

Life is not about finding yourself….

November 23, 2012

During the four-hour mammoth turkey cook, a friend of the person I was cooking with came over convinced we’re all doing to die on 31st of December and they’ve been talking about it for approximately an hour now.

I made this, answering the life question that’s always puzzled me: “Who the fuck has the time and motivation to make those stupid graphics and then upload them on facebook?”

Thanksgiving: A truce, with turkeys

November 22, 2012

It feels to me like the world has stabilized just in time for America’s best holiday – thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, not being religious, is more unifying than most and easier for me to like. Also it involves food and I love, love, love food.

Just in time for tomorrow, we get a last-minute truce between Israel (final kill score, 144, 77 civilians including 36 kids) and Palestine (final kill score, 5 civilians). But South Africa’s winelands seem to have settled down as well, with government intervention in the form of more enlightened labor legislation saving the day.

Not everybody is equally lucky. I know that I’m more lucky than most. I’m grateful for what I have.

If you’re thinking of celebrating like me, by killing living things and eating them, here’s a cautionary song about turkey fryers from William Shatner.

Here’s another cautionary tale about Fried Turkey.

Cause today I even went out and bought my first Thanksgiving Turkey. And fresh cranberries. Which taste like those “chinese (are they?) cherries” that you find in hedges all over SA, only much less edible.

And I took a day to be grateful after a couple of shitty weeks when international, local and personal events seemed to be colluding to depress me.

Bought myself this crazily blurbed Korean film at Salvation Army, just for fun.

November 14, 2012

Signs (an anagram of “sings”, I just realised right now) can sometimes be improved by a few edits here and there. I love that people find the time for this sort of thing.

I found this collection of “signs that were improved by graffiti” via buzzfeed.

My favorite. Cause cats would do that.

Reminded me of this picture I took on my way home from surfing in South Africa, a couple of years ago. I can’t find it – I think it was on my old blog, which got colonised and then completely ditched / deleted by 24.com in the changeover to wordpress… Anyway, someone had drawn a heart falling out of the truck pictured on a no dumping sign.

Killer online election viral’s from USA 2012

November 2, 2012

I just wrote an article for News24 about the funny viral videos out there. Here I’ve embedded them for your viewing pleasure! If you know any that make fun of Obama and are funny please post the link in the comments. I looked and couldn’t find any… Do Republicans just not make funny videos?

Kid crying because she’s so sick of “Bronco” and Mitt fighting. Hilarious.

Kids react to election coverage on TV. Some really astute comments. Also nobody knows what the electoral college is. Which is good because if they did, they’d start crying.

Mitt Romney Style

Homer Simpson Votes!

My first time – the Lena Dunham version.

My first time – the original Russian version for Putin’s campaign.

The only funny anti-Obama video I could find. Thanks, NRA.