A. Cat’s List of Demands

I passed a cat on the way to work today. I also passed a protest against how my fancy school is driving down wages in the local carpentry trade. On my way back to my car, I passed the cat again. Boy, did it give me a “look”. Like, “Don’t just walk past. Can’t you see I’m BLINKING.” I thought I’d write an imaginary list of demands for the cat.

Yeah. Read it, bitch.

A. CAT’S LIST OF DEMANDS

1. WE ARE NOCTURNAL. SCHEDULE NEXT VETERINARY APPOINTMENT FOR 2AM OR PAY THE PRICE.

2. GET RID OF THAT DOG.

3. BRING ME THAT BIRD!!!

4. SCRATCH MY CHIN. NO STOP! SCRATCH MY BACK. ENOUGH! GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY FFS.

5. DON’T SPEAK IN THAT SILLY VOICE TO ME. DO I LOOK LIKE A PUPPY TO YOU? JESUS.

6. TAKE DOWN ALL THOSE STUPID PICTURES OF ME YOU PUT ON THE INTERNET.

7. AND ENOUGH WITH THE “CHEEZBURGERS” ALREADY. BRING ME A FISH TACO.

This may be just a stupid ploy to get more traffic for my blog. Which is usually about signs made by humans, like this one…

If only we humans were as "loveable" as pets, people would buy us food and care if we died. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.

And a late addition to this post… The Cat Fact Prank on Facebook. The perfect revenge to take on cat lovers everywhere.

Somebody posted this on Facebook today, and it's just too good not to add to this blog post.

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