Steve Hofmeyr loves to watch you pee

It's impossible to take this for granted.

I have had quite a few “I know I’m home because” moments. Most of them are amazing; like walking down to the almost empty beach this morning with my mom, swimming around in ice cold, crystal clear water, watching penguins cleaning themselves on the rocks. Or crossing the road without bothering to see if it’s legal. Or going to buy fruit at the market on the beach – spending $15 for a box of 24 peaches, a bucket of lychees, and a bag of plums and apricots. Oh and a huge sack of potatoes. Or being able to buy a lamb curry pie at a petrol station. Or order a rock shandy and actually get a rock shandy. Best of all has been a real sense of religious freedom. I pulled my scarf over my head after the beach today to ward off the sun, without wondering if anyone would give me a dirty look. I don’t have to listen to some vibrating mental case singing “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” every time I turn on the radio. Yes, not everybody in this world is Christian. And I like that.

But then there was the trip to the movies – the side of the second world that’s not so awesome, at all.

Two of the toilets are broken (and smell it). But worse still, I have to look at the multiple posters of a racist (when it's convenient) reactionary (usually) who makes music I hate. MTN, what are you thinking?

And here's the best bit. When you sit down, he's there AGAIN. WATCHING. Freaky. I see someone decided to give him a thought-bubble.

Just cause Malema is worse, doesn’t make the kind of patriachal when-we junk Steve Hofmeyr talks okay. And I certainly don’t want to do kinky German sex stuff with him. Apparently all Ster Kinekor cinema toilets have this awful MTN advertising in them now.

On the plus side, I don’t think liberal or left wing feminists are likely to struggle with their bowel movements when they have this to look at when they go. If I sold laxatives, I’d sue.


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7 Responses to “Steve Hofmeyr loves to watch you pee”

  1. Shannon Says:

    I saw a trailer for an Afrikaans musical that my friend and I were dying to see because, though I don’t speak Afrikaans, it was clear that the cheese factor would transcend all language barriers. Alas, I returned to the States before it came out. Please see and review if you have a chance. 🙂

    As to religion, Wikipedia (drawing on national census info and polls) identifies SA as 80% Christian and the US as 76% Christian. A lot depends on where you are. You’re in Cape Town, where there’s a lot more religious diversity than if you were in, say, a small town in the Free State, or even Pretoria. Similarly, in the US you’re in a politically and religiously conservative place; if you were in San Francisco or Boston you’d experience it differently. Be careful about extrapolating about the US based on experience in one city. I had to keep reminding myself in Cape Town that I don’t know South Africa; I know Cape Town, even though I traveled a lot. And Cape Town is to South Africa as San Francisco is to the US.

  2. Jean Barker (@JeanBarker) Says:

    Hi Shannon,
    SA may be 80% Christian – and the USA may be 76%, but respect is shown for other religions in the sense that if you go to the airport, you aren’t forced to listen to carols, and they aren’t all over the radio and so on all the time. In LA and NY, which are hardly small towns, christmas music was standard in all shops, airports, etc etc. None of my friends seemed to think it in the slightest bit weird. I didn’t check San Fran, but I suspect it’s the same way. Is it not – really? Anyhow, in this case, I wouldn’t say I was extrapolating, although I know I’ve been guilty of that in the past.

  3. Jean Barker (@JeanBarker) Says:

    PS. If you picked up a multi-zone DVD player while you were here, you could just order it from Kalahari. I doubt I’ll be reviewing it, and would probably avoid going to see something like that.

  4. Shannon Says:

    I just used my laptop to watch movies, so I’ll sadly miss the Afrikaans musical. I thought you might go for the ridiculousness factor as well.

    I can’t remember if the V&A played carols but they were definitely tricked out for Christmas, including a Santa’s workshop for kids to take their photos, and of course the Adderley lights are up, including a giant Christmas tree and a nativity. Kloof Street’s evergreen and lights went up in November. So I guess I don’t see the difference.

    Neither the Cape Town nor Houston airports were playing any kind of music when I flew so I have no basis for airport judgments.

  5. Shannon Says:

    I guess I’m also thinking of my last three winters in Cambridge, where one rarely heard Christmas music (Cambridge also has no big-box stores and very few chains, so the closest you might come to Christmas music was the Charlie Brown soundtrack being played at Starbucks) and the lights hung over the streets were just of snowflakes, not anything that explicitly suggested Christmas.

  6. Shannon Says:

    On a totally separate note, there’s a new coffee shop in CT that I really liked that you might want to try. It’s called Bean There and it’s on Wale Street just past the intersection with Loop in the CBD. Comfortable and light-filled and a good place to relax. I really miss it. (I have an amazing record as the Typhoid Mary of Cape Town coffee shops–5 of the ones I have patronized over the past 4 years have gone out of business, so get there before they become an unwitting victim of my dark power.)

  7. jeanbarker Says:

    Thanks for the tip! I love Origin but was looking for somewhere good in town. And Origin is sometimes so busy. Happy Christmas, if you go that way. I’m off to celebrate with my mom.

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