The scum of the earth: A shortlist from my junkmail

I used to send out spam. I mean, not bad spam, good spam. It was for alternative websites I ran. I figured if I couldn’t afford to market and I needed to compete with the big guys, then all means necessary, right? Well not all, just one. Steal email addresses, create a mailing list of people who had published their email addresses on similar sites, and voila. A lot of people thought this was wrong. And email spam is, wait for it, ILLEGAL. You are required, by SA law at least, to provide a one-click opt-out option. But for some reason, it’s completely fine to send people paper spam.

I get spam in my mailbox. Spam under my door. Spammers knocking on my door with coupons and religious tracts on Saturday mornings. And it’s all from easily traceable companies.

They’re taking up space, they’re destroying the planet, and they’re inconveniencing me MUCH more than email spammers, who get filtered straight to deleted items. If not, one click and it’s gone. To get rid of the mound of junkmail I get in a week, I have to take a trip to the rubbish bin. Not only that, but I have to sort through it to make sure I’m not missing bills or slips when I throw it out.

So here’s a shoutout to the asshole companies who are wasting my time and their money, clogging the world up with chemicals, raping the landscape for kaolin deposits, and mulching up forests to feed their paper addiction (while pretending to be green instore by asking you to recycle their shopping bags).

On the left, the mail I consented to receive this week. On the right, a violation of my rights and a hypocritical assault on the environment by the companies listed below.

Norms, Screw you. You never close. And I never eat there. Closet World, screw you. Pollo Loco, you must be mad to think I want your factory farmed, fatty orange chicken. Famous Dave’s – never heard of you til now, and not pleased to meet you. Allstar Kia you suck. Wholesome Choice go to hell, go die in a hole. Pennysaver USA you are satan’s whores. Direct TV go directly to jail. Moneyshow – scammer timeshare types as far as I can tell. Daniel’s Home Center. And so on with the following assholes, Expo Furniture, Big 5 Sporting Goods, CVS (non union, for those who care), Vons, Rite Aid (with me, it’s fucking personal now too), fAbshow inc., Ralphs, your name is vomit, flame Broiler, Sprouts, Albertsons, Food 4 Less, El Super, EZ Lube you know where to shove it right? Alaska Seafood, Smart and Final, La Caretta, Professional Auto Service, Salvation Army, Jack in the Box, OC Mattress, Fresh & Easy, Little Ceasars, Black Angus, Stater Bros, Time Warner Cable… most people have spammed me more than once this week, so I have three fliers from Norms, for instance.

If you are receiving junk mail – paper junk mail like most of America, thanks to the UPS, who encourage it and charge to deliver it – here’s how to take steps to stop it.

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2 Responses to “The scum of the earth: A shortlist from my junkmail”

  1. Spear the Almighty Says:

    Agreed. papaer smap is the worst. They are just fucking up the planet any way, wasting that paper.

  2. coupons Says:

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