My Californian “going native” checklist for November

I have been here three months today. I realised this yesterday when a cop pulled me over in my new car. Turns out, driving a Silver Mustang means you can’t do stuff like stop at green lights, or cross solid lines. My passenger said “Play the South African card!” Which I did. Which led to 1. The cop asking me why I was studying NOW. And 2. giving me about 50 reasons why I shouldn’t get a California ID card, the best reason being that when he was finished lecturing me like a five year old, he let me go without a fine. So I revised my to-do list, which is taped to my front door.

So far this is the only art in my apartment. I need to work on that - it looks like a guy lives here.

You’d think I’d have done more of this stuff by now. But I’m busy doing what I came here to do – study film – that I’ve slotted straight into acting like I live here. Still, I think we all agree I need to try harder. I was busy trying to sift through the porno results on Google to find a genuine massage place on Friday after class, when my teacher James Dutcher, who was also fiddling with his laptop, asked me how I was settling. I said I felt I needed to travel more – that I still feel like I was just dropped here by the space ship, without any operating instructions.

“Well”, he replied, displaying the signature sense of humour that keeps him in plenty of work as a writer of German romantic comedies: “You were.”

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One Response to “My Californian “going native” checklist for November”

  1. Swazi Shado Says:

    Well you’re going bowling; That’s a start. I got stopped by a South African cop the other day. He needed extra cash. The entire transaction left me feeling soooo dirty. Good luck finding massage place. I’ve struck up an acquaintance with Mbabane one – he is waaaaaay out there. But you knew that

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