Walk a mile in her shoes? I’d rather not…


I would rather not... other events organised by Chapman include the Underwear Run, in which the undergrads (mostly) run a mile in underwear. I guess it's a good way to figure out who you want to "bone" without having to have a pesky conversation. That's why I didn't go.


One thing I admit about Orange, CA is that although I find it a bit like a large, stuffy closet filled with hamburgers and Republicans at times, I am loving feeling really safe, physically, all the time. Of course, I’ve managed to find ways not to be safe. I would go crazy otherwise – but more about that when I post my next video assignment…

In the meantime, I really appreciate being safe. “Appreciate”, for those of you who don’t yet speak American, is the exact opposite of “I don’t appreciate” which basically means “I would like to stick a heat seeking missile up your ass to check if you have a pulse, you verminous scum, prepare to die”.

If any American you meet, especially a valley girl, says “I really don’t appreciate…” don’t wait for the end of the sentence. Just start running right away.

But aside from this threat, Orange is so safe that when a female student was goosed by a guy of unknown origin – wait for this… a guy on a bicycle with one leg in a splint – campus security sent out a mail to every single student on campus to warn them about the danger of this sexual harassment. I think this is awesome, by the way. This is how it should be. But that guy is really lucky he didn’t try that with me. I’m not saying the girl shouldn’t have been upset, or that she did the wrong thing, but with my sheltered middle class South African background? He’d have been toast. I would have pulled him off his bike, stolen his clothes, made him learn some poetry, and THEN called the cops. Either that, or I would have been dating him for some reason I would later have been unable to fathom.

So to build awareness of the difficulties that modern women face and to fight the burgeoning rate of bike-by fondling in America’s streets, Campus organises a yearly event in which guys have to walk a mile in girls’ shoes. I am glad I’m not a guy, because you couldn’t pay me to walk a mile in those torture devices.

The signs are up all around campus. For a while, I thought actually, this would be cool to do in South Africa. And then I thought uh… no. In Cape Town there are way too many guys going this already (the only reason I can walk in heels is cause a dude taught me). In Joburg you don’t want the guys to find out how hard it is to run away in those things, or to develop a taste for taking yours. And in Durban, nobody would bother to show up.


Yes, this is what you think it is - a piece of the Berlin Wall. I can just hear them: We'll BUY your communist wall!" Actually, it's pretty cool. At first I didn't realise what it was. Then someone mentioned it while giving directions to the hot dog stand. I said "Aha". It was that kinda moment.



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5 Responses to “Walk a mile in her shoes? I’d rather not…”

  1. The Burg Says:

    Its like the setting and plot for a Scream movie…with a lot of cross dressing innuendo..

  2. jeanbarker Says:

    Thanks! I think. Yep, I could see the walk of 1000 illegally hungover undergrads to town and back ending in some death. It’d be like the “post walk of shame” walk. Of shame. Shame. Poor things.

  3. Tweets that mention Walk a mile in her shoes? I’d rather not… « Jean Barker's Sign Language -- Topsy.com Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jean Barker and Jean Barker, US Embassy Pretoria. US Embassy Pretoria said: We like this. @jeanbarker's newest missive from America: http://bit.ly/coKQin […]

  4. Akona Says:

    Love it. ‘In Durban, no one would show up’

  5. Simon Says:

    Hahahah Jean this was a riot. I loved it. And so true. No one in Durban would arrive. You know how it is…

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