KFC – so lekker you just wanna suck its…

Look at her… she just can’t get enough of that yummy drumstick. Oooh. Oooh. What is this woman doing?

What is this woman doing?

In other Swazi KFC billboards, which I consider too pornographic to publish, women are shown on all fours, canoodling with various pieces of fried chicken. KFC also sponsors the Miss Swazi beauty pageant.

Um... nom nom nom. Oh shit, did I press Publish?

KFC was big news when I was in Swaziland recently. “YOUR KFC IS NOW HALAAL!” a multicoloured Swazi Times headline screeched from the bottom left of the tabloid-style newspaper. Now, the Swazi Times is Swaziland’s most respected paper. Although it’s badly written, poorly subbed, hopelessly unimaginative and frequently bigoted, it’s not as bad as the local government mouthpiece, or as completely full of lies as The Mirror, who claim to have deep throats everywhere but tend to publish what they say without question. A bit like advertising yourself as “the only restaurant in the the world that serves vomit.”

So anyhow, I was really surprised that a newspaper in highly islamaphobic, rabidly christian Mbabane would be so excited that KFC was halaal. But not for long: the headline intended to convey horror, not pleasant surprise, and in the story detailed how SHOCK! HORROR! Chickens were now prayed over before being slaughtered and thereby infected with ISLAM!

The article was accompanied by this awesome photograph of rows of chickens hanging upside down by their splayed legs while a man in a blood-spattered white shirt slit their throats. In South Africa, it’s easier to get a camera inside a maximum security prison than it is to photograph what goes on in a slaughterhouse.

Great taste? I beg to differ.

Sex, blood, violence, and plenty of it! That’s a spicy recipe for the pornography of food, KFC. It’s about as cheap and nasty, occasionally mouth-watering but ultimately unsatisfying, exploitative, and involves big breasts, and girls licking flesh a lot.

6 Responses to “KFC – so lekker you just wanna suck its…”

  1. Mvelase Says:

    Excuse me! I must protest! The bigots *cannot* accuse Muslims of infecting people with Islam. They’ve bestowed the honour of being able to spread our ways on gays already! Have they forgotten “spreading the gay.”

    By the way ‘fellatio’ & ‘KFC,’ I think KFC Swaziland has described my personal heaven.

    • jeanbarker Says:

      Ha ha. Your personal heaven if you close your eyes and she has a slight mustache, perhaps. How do you spell that anyhow? I think my computer may be American.

  2. Toni Says:

    the temptation to shower you with a flock of foul puns is overwhelming, I’m egged on by the the knowledge that i can wing most of the chirps, and you will be abreast of any cracks i may make, so excuse the bad yolks, but all these pictures you took, perhaps could go in an albumen?

  3. Obama is… oh who cares? « Jean Barker's Sign Language Says:

    […] *I’m not singling America out. You should have seen how freaked out Swaziland was to discover that their KFC was now finally halaal. […]

  4. sifiso Says:

    hey i am sifiso wonderboy ndwandwe i am hosting an event in tongaat which is mr and miss tongaat beauty peagent if any one can help me please contact me on 061059 1650 around 18;00 please i wanna bring tongaat upfront

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